Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
