I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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