Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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