Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
