Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
