Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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