I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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