It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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