he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
