she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
