Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
