That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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