Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
