Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
