he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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