how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
