Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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