Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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