you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
