didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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