Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
