did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
