problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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