just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
