Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize