I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
