what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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