i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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