His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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