He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
