I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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