Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
