I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
