If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I believe in your delicious
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
