I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
