she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
