I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The beer is more important than you right now.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
