Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
