I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
