member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
