Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
