In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Randomize
