Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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