Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
