he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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