she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
