their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Only a mothe r could love this liver
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
