I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize