I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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