Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
