I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
