btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
