someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
