I'm going to jail i love you
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
