I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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