super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
the raccoons are back...
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