got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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