I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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