and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
