You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I AM VODKA MAN
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize