You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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