can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
