Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
