Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
