i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
