How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
