whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
