his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
