Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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