winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
