so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
