i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize