I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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