i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
