I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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