playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
where are you?
Hypothermia
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
