May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
