goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
